This Saturday see's the annual 1st vs Rapids crunchathon take place at Scours Lane. Scheduled for an 11am kick off, this event has always been the highlight of the YM calendar. 1st team boss and YM stalwart Mark Lemm pitches himself against Rapids boss and YM wizard Tim Sidwell, with the former opting for a long ball smash it and run game, and the latter using his guile, knowledge, wisdom, craft and weight to pick a relatively straight forward route through the first team midfield and back 4.

The game promises to be a spectacle with both sides storming to 4th place in their respective divisions this season. The first team, moving up through the gears as the season went on and players returned. The Rapids, steadily moving between 4th, 5th and even the dizzy heights of 3rd for most of the season without really threatening the top 3 in any way.

Mark Lemm can surely look forward to a strong season next year after half his squad decided to see the sights including skipper Danny Fitzpatrick, stiker Johnny Adey, centre half Ben Green and a host of others including Drew Tipper who reportedly went as far afield as Somerset missing almost 1 match.

Sidwell is hoping for a more fruitful season having struggled at times with player numbers due to the reasons above. The crisis got so bad at one point he had to deploy himself in a 'free role' allowing others around him to work extremely hard whilst the former YM skipper mopped up a host of penalties, one left peg wonder strike and a sizzling yarder that almost hit the net, smashing home between 13 and 15 goals depending on which webiste you refer to.

Saturday will see some big clashes with both sides going all out. At one end the warhorse pairing of Mark Ilsley and Dave Rolfe will need to deal with the screams of 'come on MMAARRRTTTIINNNN' as Abery shins his way towards the YM goal. At the other end Ben Green, Danny Fitzpatrick and Scott Allen, a formidible partnership in anyones eyes will have to deal with the red hot strike force of Dan Sutton (3), Alan Ilsley (3) and right back Chris Leach (somehow 3) in what promises to be a massive area of a huge matchup. In the middle of the park it will be up to Scott Gibson and his amazing array of stupid hats to shackle Drew Tipper who is reported this week to be 'extremely optimistic' about his chances of not being hauled off at half time due to being 'just a name'. The real treat for fans will come when Steve Daly comes up against local fed Chris Lemm. The YM wing wizard was in outstanding form during the first half of the campaign, netting 6 times but has since gone quiet. Local reports put it down to Dave Simmonds and Mark Mabbett not allowing him the front seat and booster cushion whilst on the way to Taplow. The main battle of the day will surely see manager Lemm and Sidwell go at it hammer and tongs. Lemm's ariel ability will clearly count for nothing against Tim 'Salmon' Sidwell and then less said about the big mans close control the better. Sidwell wins the passing ability battle whilst Lemm possible shades the shirt tightness award. Oh his day Lemm is an extremely able goal keeper and occasionally makes the half way line with a whole host of kicking techniques, but god help the first team if a penalty is awarded, as long as its the big scouse referee who let me, errrrrrrr sorry, HIM, take it a couple of times vs SRCC musing 'ahh thats better' as the second scuffed effort rolled in to the net. It promises to be an enthusiastic encounter if nothing else.

10.45am - Ryan Tipper drops his trousers.

10.50am - Beers.

11.00am - 1st Team vs Rapids.

11.01am - Lemmy either A) picks the ball out of the net or B) pulls a hamstring or C) both.

11.02am - Sidwell's chocolate ankles give way or he scores a penalty.

11.03am - Sidwell and Lemm subbed off to carry on managerial duties/nurse injuries.

11.45am - Half time Beers. Chris Leach puts a silly jacket on.

11.50am - Second half. Ryan Tipper swears and get sent off.

12.00pm - Martin Abery shins it out of play for the 5th time.

12.06pm - Ben Green gets caught in possession whislt looking in the mirror.

12.10pm - Danny Fitzherbert and Drew Tipper embrace in the centre circle after months apart. Everyone stops and cheers.

12.16pm - Rapids carry on missing chances.

12.24pm - Thoughts turn to not playing anymore

12.35pm - With the score at 16-9, the ref blows up.

1.00pm - YM Presentation

2.46pm - Man Utd wrap up the title

3.00pm - FA Cup Final

5.00pm - Mini bus to Windsor

7.42pm - Ryan Tipper drops his trousers.